The story in our heads is far more dramatic, twisted, exciting overall than generally what the facts of a situation or encounter are if we allow it to be.
Am I saying we are all making shit up in our heads? Kinda.
We all come equipped with our judgments, assumptions, beliefs and interpretations of encounters and events all pre-loaded and ready to fly.
With that being said ... again with the pumping of the brakes, pump the brakes! ... this is what we need to do to slow down and not allow ourselves to get carried away with the feelings & big emotional reactions these assumptions can spark, fuel and engulf us. It is ok to think it, it is not ok to act on it, especially without Checking the Facts.
After using the STOP skill lets look at the facts supporting our big emotion/assumption. Do the facts support this reaction? If so, proceed mindfully.
If not ... STOP! Do not act on that urge to relieve yourself of all your negative thoughts onto someone else, to pass judgement, to cry uncontrollably, to blame them for everything, hurt or throw anything.
This is the time you slow things down and try to conjure up the appropriate feeling/emotion to go with what is actually happening. Not what you are afraid might happen, what you think could happen and certainly stay away from all shoulds at all costs! The shoulds come with a blanket of shame and a pillow of guilt, = no rest = no thanks!
Keep trying, we can only improve as we go. Thanks for reading!