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DBT Skills in Motion

Check the Facts

12/12/2018

1 Comment

 
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This is the DBT skill that shows you how to check yourself before you wreck yourself.  Sorry for the corny pun, I could NOT resist.  Check the Facts is one of my favorite, most shared  and personally used skill from the 80+ DBT skills out there.  

The story in our heads is far more dramatic, twisted, exciting overall than generally what the facts of a situation or encounter are if we allow it to be.  

Am I saying we are all making shit up in our heads?  Kinda.  

We all come equipped with our judgments, assumptions, beliefs and interpretations of encounters and events all pre-loaded and ready to fly.  
With that being said ... again with the pumping of the brakes, pump the brakes! ... this is what we need to do to slow down and not allow ourselves to get carried away with the feelings & big emotional reactions these assumptions can spark, fuel and engulf us.    It is ok to think it, it is not ok to act on it, especially without Checking the Facts. 

After using the STOP skill lets look at the facts supporting our big emotion/assumption.  Do the facts support this reaction?  If so, proceed mindfully.

If not ... STOP!  Do not act on that urge to relieve yourself of all your negative thoughts onto someone else, to pass judgement, to cry uncontrollably, to blame them for everything, hurt or throw anything.  

This is the time you slow things down and try to conjure up the appropriate feeling/emotion to go with what is actually happening.  Not what you are afraid might happen, what you think could happen and certainly stay away from all shoulds at all costs!  The shoulds come with a blanket of shame and a pillow of guilt, = no rest = no thanks! 


Keep trying, we can only improve as we go.  Thanks for reading! 
1 Comment
Adrian Jones link
5/7/2019 03:10:01 am

It's great you talked about the importance of finding out what the various signs of DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) are since it can potentially contribute to the overall well-being of an individual who might be suffering from a possible mental breakdown. Another thing to consider is that one should calm down and not jump to assumptions quickly since that's how human instinct tends to function. If I had to act as a counselor to troubled teenagers then I would tell them to stop and take a second look before trying to degrade themselves again with such self-doubt.

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    Audrey Roach-Slivinski, LCSW

    This is where I share what I know to be helpful to 100's.  I am a life long learner and obsessed with learning and living with these wonderful DBT Skills.  Intensively trained in DBT and offering the only groups of the kind in my metro area.  I adore what I do and  am fortunate as well as grateful to be able to  share this knowledge for over 15 years.  Trained @ NYU, the Yale Child Study Center, BTTI (Behavior Therapy Training Institute), under the mentorship of DBT Guru's - Dr. Charles Swenson & Nancy Gordon, LCSW, assisting me in bringing the best version of Evidence Based Therapies to my clients.    Attaining these skills as a teen = the sooner a level of peace and happiness can be achieved.  Life is painful naturally, my job is to teach others to tolerate that pain and not allow it to morph into suffering.  Excited to share ... thanks for reading! 

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