March is the time of year for parents and kids where things get frayed around the edges.  Spring Break is around the corner, end of the school year is in sight at the end of the tunnel and yet still not close enough.  It is as close to a full court press as its gonna get, at least the pressure we feel in our chests and heads is. 
If tensions are getting high, if your kid just did that thing for the 100th time that you asked them not to do, forget to do or insist they are not doing or already did, this is your clue to take a step back.  While you are balancing work calls, making lunches, signing a form they forgot to tell you about, your necklace just broke, the dogs need to go out, its trash day, gotta cancel their dental appointments, extra practice is added for sports, on and on and on.  So, What can we do so we don't explode? How?

Allow yourself to be mindful enough to notice your body changes.  Is your heart racing, breath becoming faster, how is the tone of your voice and your volume? Is your mind racing, do you feel a bit like a volcano ready to explode? It can be all, any or a few of these signs that you're getting ready to react rather than respond with the potential to make things a whole lot more dramatic and WORSE! 

So this is a good time to Practice the STOP Skill. 

• Stop what is happening, your words and actions, give it a beat!
• Take a Step back, literally! Even if that means leaving the room, "I'm frustrated and am taking a step out before I make it worse.  I will be back" is something I did this morning. 
• Observe what is going on in your body, the room, your kids face and body language.  How can you be more effective and respond rather than react.  Remember this is someone you love, a member of your nest! Do what you need to do, deep breathing, folding your body over to hang towards your toes, do another task, something to bring you back down to baseline. 
• Proceed Mindfully ... Get back out there and make amends with your kiddo.  We are big huggers in my house so we hug it out.  Say what was yours and explain things in a calm manner.  Also, make sure the expectation is explained clearly to your kiddo. 
  

Our children did not arrive pre-programmed with what to do and when to do it.  Us parents have been on the planet longer, so it is our job to teach them, not get all over them for not knowing something.  Remember you are both trying and you LOVE EACH OTHER!
It is hard to find our patience at this time of year AND we can use skills to keep the damage minimal.  We are so close to being at the end of the school year, right the ship for a strong finish my friends. 

You Got This!

Reality for most if not all of us in my opinion. 
If anyone tells you they've never experienced Anxiety before, I'd take some deep breaths instead of rolling my eyes, which would be my big ineffective urge.  I'd also be doing fact checking on just about anything else they share ... and then feel the intense need to inform them what Anxiety actually looks like.  It can look like many day to day encounters we may not recognize as Anxiety. 

It can be being obsessed with being excessively early to appointments, practices, sessions, dinners, lunches, you name it. If you are 20-30 min early for everything ... then You my friend are experiencing Anxiety.

Do you find yourself avoiding people, places or things?  Are these things you are avoiding have to's or important relationships or a something that can move you forward in life in any way ... then You my friend are experiencing Anxiety.

Do you not answer calls, texts or say you will call someone back with no intention of doing so hence sabotaging another relationship feeling like you can't help it?  Then, You my friend are experiencing Anxiety.

Do you frequently text multiple questions to friends, colleagues or family members on info you can obtain yourself, or could find out over time, or is your worried thoughts of not having control over the situation (all the what ifs seeping out)?  Then You my friend are experiencing Anxiety.

Keeping relationships going with people who have intense Anxiety can be a challenge. However people with anxiety are just as wonderful as people who may have it more in check. 
Lots of people get upset with them by misreading what is actually going on.  They are not doubting you or your ability. They don't want to not be your friend, in fact they generally so wish they could be there, show up, call you back and hang out. They have anxiety and it sometimes does the walking and talking for them.  It gets in the way, establishing fear where there is no need.  Living in the Fight, Flight or Freeze mode is no picnic. Lets try learning more about Anxiety so we can understand the masses who are suffering from it.  We live in an Anxiety riddled world right now.  Showing more understanding, compassion and kindness is needed.  It will ease all of us once we allow for it to have its own space.  So call it out for what it is and not something it isn't.  You got This!