Dialectical Behavior Therapy is not just for one person.
The true benefits of DBT are realized when the family, couple or family system delves into DBT.
Living the DBT way may sound like a cult of sorts, which some of us DBT clinicians are quite religious in our absolute faith in these skills, I am one such clinician. Regardless of how you frame these life saving and moment improving skills, they undeniably work when practiced with consistency. This is what parents come to us seeking something that will work, that will reach their children and teens.
Fix my kid!
Parents are desperate and begging for lasting change after so many other failed interventions before they arrive on DBT's doorstep. What I've noticed is they have a hard time comprehending that in order for someone to change, so does their environment. That means they need to do things differently to support the change they want to see. They need to create a change ready environment. Wait a min, but they aren't the ones with the issues I hear in protest it is their kiddo/teen. Ok hang on ... Picture this ... If we get all the skills in the world, work fully on ourselves, go to individual plus group therapy and then continue to live in an unhealthy toxic (to us) environment, how long do you suppose we will stay in a healthy mindset? If we are constantly getting triggered, poked and pushed into survival protective mode it won't be long before we are resorting back to our old ineffective coping methods. In fact, it most likely we will become much worse as we will be harder on ourselves because we did put in the effort, we tried everything and tolerated what we could. And still nothing changed in our environment. We were mocked, poked at, cajoled, told we were being disrespectful as we chose to use our skills instead of our old ineffective ways. So yes parents and families need to change what is happening at home and it begins together. Learning DBT skills will only improve your connection and your experience together. DBT will teach everyone to be in the moment they are in, not kitchen sink every infraction that has every happened between you all, communicate more effectively, let shit go (remember you don't have to go to the mat over everything), tolerate distressing situations so you don't make them worse (not lose your shit), see past the behavior to the message it is trying to convey, and understand that emotions are all welcome and there are no "bad" emotions.
All families can benefit from learning DBT and incorporating them into your lives. I say this with complete confidence in them from years of seeing them in action, working there magic in households all over the world. Try them and see for yourselves.
Something to think about: We wouldn't have an AA meeting at a bar.
The true benefits of DBT are realized when the family, couple or family system delves into DBT.
Living the DBT way may sound like a cult of sorts, which some of us DBT clinicians are quite religious in our absolute faith in these skills, I am one such clinician. Regardless of how you frame these life saving and moment improving skills, they undeniably work when practiced with consistency. This is what parents come to us seeking something that will work, that will reach their children and teens.
Fix my kid!
Parents are desperate and begging for lasting change after so many other failed interventions before they arrive on DBT's doorstep. What I've noticed is they have a hard time comprehending that in order for someone to change, so does their environment. That means they need to do things differently to support the change they want to see. They need to create a change ready environment. Wait a min, but they aren't the ones with the issues I hear in protest it is their kiddo/teen. Ok hang on ... Picture this ... If we get all the skills in the world, work fully on ourselves, go to individual plus group therapy and then continue to live in an unhealthy toxic (to us) environment, how long do you suppose we will stay in a healthy mindset? If we are constantly getting triggered, poked and pushed into survival protective mode it won't be long before we are resorting back to our old ineffective coping methods. In fact, it most likely we will become much worse as we will be harder on ourselves because we did put in the effort, we tried everything and tolerated what we could. And still nothing changed in our environment. We were mocked, poked at, cajoled, told we were being disrespectful as we chose to use our skills instead of our old ineffective ways. So yes parents and families need to change what is happening at home and it begins together. Learning DBT skills will only improve your connection and your experience together. DBT will teach everyone to be in the moment they are in, not kitchen sink every infraction that has every happened between you all, communicate more effectively, let shit go (remember you don't have to go to the mat over everything), tolerate distressing situations so you don't make them worse (not lose your shit), see past the behavior to the message it is trying to convey, and understand that emotions are all welcome and there are no "bad" emotions.
All families can benefit from learning DBT and incorporating them into your lives. I say this with complete confidence in them from years of seeing them in action, working there magic in households all over the world. Try them and see for yourselves.
Something to think about: We wouldn't have an AA meeting at a bar.
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